20/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

Many changes ahead! So we are standing still for a moment to smell the flowers and chase cats throught the gardens. Daisy chains are obligatory.

19/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

Over the short (twelve) months of his life Samuel has lost much of his softness. With every new movement, accomplishment and step of independency his body loses its chubbiness and his mind is in constant explore-mode. When he goes to sleep though, everything becomes tender, light and oh-so-soft. Exhale, sigh, still my baby.

18/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

When Samuel was born last year, lilacs were in full bloom. Their tender smell and luscious hue accompanied us throughout Samuel's first days on this planet. This year spring seems to be delayed by about a week, nevertheless, Samuel Bruno will always be my lilac baby.

17/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

There is something incredibly endearing about a little boy who doesn't know (nor care) it's his birthday. We spent the day together, just us three, and did nothing remotely Pinterest worthy.

One Year with Samuel ● The Contradictions of Parenthood ● Adventure

One year ago today, you, Samuel Bruno, were born. It's been only one year with you but it's also been one. Whole. Year. You are our constant light, our biggest struggle, the answer to many questions, the reason for so many new ones. You have grown so much, your hands that clutch at my shoulder when you're scared are still so little. You are the reason why I get up with a smile in the morning and sometimes, go to bed after a long day, feeling defeated. Without you I'd feel lost and without purpose, with you I sometimes miss being able to drift aimlessly through the day. You make me question my abilities constantly but one gaze from you, one small gesture of trust and I know I can give you everything you need. There is nobody I know better than your tiny soul but there is also no one who surprises me more than you. Every day with you is full of endless possibilities to explore, though, repetition is what shapes our time together.
You are the best thing that ever, ever happened to us and there is no contradiction in that.
Thank you for making us the happiest people on earth, we cannot wait to see what you are up to next.
Life with you! It's the biggest adventure there is.
We love you more than we can fathom.

Project 'Sweet Lemon'

Last week Samuel and I visited my oldest friend in her beautiful, sunlit apartment. We had just received a parcel by babaa from Spain and I was eager to put Sam into his new spring knitwear. Apparently, three kilos of lemons, two cameras, lots of light, tons of giggles, a wiggly baby and the most gorgeous spring attire make for a wonderful afternoon with more photos than I could ever sort through. We all enjoyed the unexpected warmth of the sun, the mood lifting light and a faint yet fresh lemon scent that followed us for the rest of the day. After the pictures were taken, we went out for a short walk and ice cream (lemon-cinnamon!) and Sam took a well-deserved nap.
I hope you enjoy the photos!

Samuel is wearing three of my very favourite brands, all three from Europe, all three emphasize the importance of environmentally conscious materials and are ethically produced by hand or in small quantities.

Starting at the bottom, his cute yellow moccasins are by British brand Amy+Ivor. These soft sole shoes are made from vegetable tanned leather which makes them smell amazing when you first open the box. Sam is currently learning to walk and I believe that shoes which give him the same amount of flexibility as wearing no shoes at all, are the very best call. This way, his feet aren't restricted and can develop naturally. Samuel uses his moccassins daily and on every imaginable kind of surface. We are on our second pair of Urban Moccasins and so far the quality holds up amazingly. 

Amy+Ivor just launched their first lace-up moccassin version, the Traveller, and they look so handsome, I'm super tempted to get Samuel a pair!

Macarons is all about getting it all. Perfect designs, impeccable quality, ethical, local and transparent production and in the end, the cutest and most avant-garde fashion for children. Just as sweet as the edible kind of macarons but with a lot less calories - what more do you need?
Every piece in their collection is super comfortable and still extremely sophisticated. Whenever a season launches, introducing new kinds of fabrics and colors, I can't help but buy a few pieces for my little one. So the fact that the first macarons adult clothing line will hit the stores in Fall is very exciting news and potentially dangerous for my savings account. Until then I enjoy my own, cute Samuel scented macaron all dressed up in soft, fine rib polka dots, eco-jersey and smooth cotton seersucker stripes.

Oh, babaà! If ever I had a brand crush (there is such a thing, isn't there?) it's this wonderful small line of light, Spanish knitwear. When I first discovered babaà at the beginning of last year, I couldn't believe my eyes! The styles are classic with a modern twist and surprisingly versatile.
Even though I own quite an impressive stash of babaà knitwear for Samuel and myself, I'm still surprised again and again by the look and feel every time I take a piece out of the dresser. If I had to choose a reason why I love babaà most, it's because the pieces are perfectly unisex without lacking in beauty. Soft, chunky cotton in summer and luxurious, cozy wool in winter, both in vibrant colors, that's what my knitwear dreams are made of.
Mind you, these jumpers are not your regular grand-aunt-Berta-inspired boringness, no, they are- dare I say it?- perfectly chic! I like to pair mine with a skirt and a pair of sandals or boots (temperature-dependent) and - ta-da! - I feel effortlessly dressed up but still ready for a day at the playground with an active toddler.
Whenever I put in a new order I think of all the years Samuel will be able to wear his new jumpers. These clothes are made to be passed down from generation to generation and I have no doubt that Samuel's babaà knits will look just as beautiful in ten years as they do now.

16/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

The weekend was busy and exhausting but in this perfect, tiny, fleeting moment, the air was filled with pure happiness. 

15/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

We've been on the go a lot lately and reached a deeply rooted level of exhaustion this weekend. Time for a long walk, a cup of tea, quiet play time and soaking up some sun rays.

14/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

It was a big week for Samuel: a trip to the grandparents, first Easter, learning how to go down the stairs and being spoiled rotten with a small ton of gifts. Still, besides all the change, sometimes Samuel, cautious character that he is, prefers to observe new situations from behind my or his Papa’s legs, tightly clutching to a person he knows well and who gives him comfort. Frankly, these small gestures of trust make us weak at the knees.

My Favorite Toys

My mother is the opposite of a hoarder. While she has some few items that have been part of every home I ever knew her in, she lives quite minimal and I adore and envy her for it.
It may come as no surprise that I had a comparably small amount of toys as a kid and none made from plastic whatsoever. Don't worry, though, I never felt like I missed out! Except for the obligatory barbie I never asked her for anything made from platic and I admire her for being able to raise me this way.

Since she always prefered to invest in beautifully made, long-lasting toys many of those survived until today. I don't think there is anything more wonderful than the fact that Samuel gets to play with the same toys that had already given me so much joy over twenty years ago. Recently, I've noticed that these kind of toys, the hand-made, small-quantity produced, traditionally designed with a clear focus on eco and health consciousness have come back in style. Sure, the high-scale toy industry booms and expands with every 'new' unnecessary plastic item that manages to glow, flash and peep. At the same time though, I'm glad there are still enough people who appreciate phantasy-stimulating pieces and don't mind investing a bit more in exchange for good quality. I've collected all those things my mother stored for me all these years and researched toys that are at least similiar to mine if you're interested in buying them for your own kids (or as gifts!). I can promise you that all of these toys will inspire long hours of playing!

Most links below will bring you to German shops but I tried to include some options for you people in the US and in the UK. Have fun!

1. Pull-along-snake

I love this beautiful and very simple pull-along toy that basically consists of nothing more than a few big wooden beads and a string. It was hand painted by my mother and I like how the colors faded with time and use so I decided not to repaint it.
- This crocodile is both super cute and versatile as it stores a small number of wooden blocks-to-go. 
- The pull-alongs by Brio are an obvious classic for obvious reasons, very cute and available in many shapes.
- How fun is this little lawnmover that kids can push to make a rattling sound!

2. Skipping rope
A skipping rope is such a simple toy, still I haven't met a child that doesn't love playing with it. Mine was a souvenir from Italy, which explains the Pinocchio heads. I'm pretty sure they are still sold (some even with engraved names) but until you get a chance to go to Italy, consider taking a look at these beauties:
- This one is extra durable and with every buy it supports a project for disabled people. Win-win!
- The classic which is also most similar to mine.
- Oh mother of everything that is colorful and pastel! Also available in the UK.

3. Train tracks
Not only train enthusiasts (I'm always fascinated that there is such a thing) will love these train tracks. Since my childhood Brio added a lot of extras but I'm still a sucker for the simple fun that comes with attaching one wooden track to the other. 
- Sorry, it's a classic, only one way to go!

4. Wooden animals
Oh, these animals were my absolute favourites. I don't think any other toys were played with as much as these beautiful wooden figures.There are basically two (well, ok, I bet there are a lot more) well established brands that sell wooden animals
- These are the ones I grew up with and personally prefer for their more 'classic' look.
- Holztiger animals seem to be very popular right now and I'm sure they are very nice, too. If you live in the US, they are also available at Sweet William.

5. Wooden blocks
Wooden blocks are a staple in every childs collection, aren't they?  So, of course I had to include them in my list. The possibilities are endless, both in play and in the kind of blocks you can buy. I bet you know already which ones you love best but for the sake of completeness, here are a few wooden blocks that I find especially intriguing:
- Quite different from the classic wooden blocks but oh-so-beautiful, don't you think?
- Brio brings another classic to the table. Nothing wrong with that!
- I'm sure I'm not the only person who basically wants to buy everything Grimms has to offer but I really love the look of these color coordinated wooden blocks. Another Grimms set is available here for US readers.
- Another not-so-classic approach to wooden blocks are these balancing blocks by reaware. There is also a version for the color enthusiasts!

6. Baby piano
This lovely baby piano is, to be completely honest, not excactly the kind of heirloom toy I was looking to show you. It's a classic made-in-China item but is made from wood and lasts surprisingly long. Nevertheless, the instruments below are definitely more beautifully made.
While I couldn't find a piano like the one I have, I still had a hard time narrowing down my choices:
- Take a look at this xylophone (Germany) and this glockenspiel (US).
- I'd be embarassed to tell you how many times I looked at these tambourines only to cringe at the enourmous shipping costs to Europe. Oh, well, I guess I'll just have to go to New York very soon!
-  If you have three plus kids or are planning a music themed birthday party (how fun would that be?) this hamper is just the thing for you!
- Two very different kinds of guitars, both great in their own way. One from Germany and one from the US.

7. Boats
We have a small collection of boats, most of them we brought home from Portugal over the years. They make both great bathroom decorations (is there such a thing?) and are fun to play with in the tub (for the kids of course...).
- So simple and yet so genius: a balloon boat! Also available in Germany.
- Did I mention how nice boats look in the bathroom? Well, this one sure makes a statement!
- Made from natural rubber this little origami boat is super cute.
 
8. Pistol
I'm not a huge fan of (toy) weapons but as long as they are as adorable as the cork gun my mother bought in Strasbourg a long time ago, I don't mind!
- Now not only in Strasbourg but also in the UK!
- Along with the sweetest tiny figurines, Clauia crochets a a beautiful space gun (which we call fisch fön (fish blow dryer)) which you see in both hers and my instagram.

Thanks so much for reading and congratulations for getting through this humongous list! If you have anything to add, please mention in the comment section. Merci!

13/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

Always on the move, touching, tasting, licking, watching everything. Ah..the joys of exploring!
Also, a small reminder: even bad weeks end eventually.

12/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

We've been enjoying the tender signs of spring: gentle rays of sunlight on our skin and cautiously blossoming flowers. The subtle warmth lured us outside, so we spent last week in parks, gardens and on the playground; sometimes even couragously without our jackets on and in short-sleeved jumpers. Always the critical observer; Samuel whose awareness for his environment had only been shaped in cold, wintery weather so far, has been skeptically getting to know different surface textures like grass and soil.

4 Small Things That Make Me Happy This Week 12/52/15

We've been going to the local public library a lot lately. Sure, Samuel can't appreciate a book for what it is, yet. Still, the calmness of this incredibly light-flooded place makes us both inexplicably happy.

Spring is here! Even though today's sky doesn't quite agree with my statement, it's undeniable. Pure joy.

Since Samuel reached his full-blown discovery stage I've been struggling to keep him entertained. I couldn't be more thankful for the great playgrounds in our neighbourhood and my slide-loving little boy.

I got to go out for the first time since Samuel's birth. Alone. At night. I dressed up. It. Was. Awesome. (Let's not talk about how much I missed my baby)

One, two, three, four times Samuel!

For the first three months of his life, Samuel was a cry baby. I don't mean this in a cruel way, I'm not making fun of my son, no, Samuel was actually crying for at least 3 or 4 hours a day. Every day. Nonstop. Sometimes we felt like we were going to go crazy or as if we were - already - failing as parents. In retrospect we know that there was nothing we could have done better but in the moment it was almost unbearable. Our tiny, beautiful, new-to-this-world baby was seemingly in pain, in distress or at least very, very unhappy. And there was nothing we didn't try but nothing made him stop. I'm sure all of you know how horrible it is to see your own child cry, particularly when they are to young to verbalize what it is that is causing their discomfort. Listening to his cries for hours every day and knowing that it'll happen again tomorrow, well, that was as close to hell as I've ever been.
Having said all of this, today, almost 8 months after his 3-months anniversary, it is already almost impossible to imagine. I've completely forgotten about how horrible it was and how close we sometimes were to giving up (whatever that means). Even writing it down now, doesn't change the fact that I can't really relate to the situation we were in anymore.

Isn't that odd?

What stays with you are the memories of first baths, first smiles, the smell of your babys skin, the touch of it's soft hair, cute noises and funny faces. The rest is (almost) gone. I'm sure if you would have asked me then, it would have been difficult for me to imagine that at some point Samuel would stop crying and that he would become a rather easy to please, happy little guy. The thought of having more children with whom we could experience the same kind of rocky first months would have been the last straw.

So, it's even the more miraculous, that I've been thinking a lot about siblings lately. After I was born my mother was hoping to have more children but it just never happened for various reasons. Therefore, I was dealt the cards of an only child which I hated every single day of my childhood. In fact, every year when it was time to write my Christmas whishlist, a little brother or sister always made the top of the list. While I don't believe people who grow up being an only child are less empathetic or more selfish than others I would still prefer Samuel to have multiple brothers or sisters. In my opinion (and yes, this comes from someone who could only make this observation from the outside) there is nothing better than having siblings. There will be always somebody who will play with you, listens to you and somebody who you can confide in when your parents are oh-so-mean (think puberty). I also imagine sibling love to be something very special that I didn't get to experience but would never want to prevent Samuel from having.

Yesterday a very lovely friend of mine asked me how many kids I was planning on having and I gave her my usual answer: 4! It got me thinking, though. Isn't four to much to handle? Will we ever be able to afford the financial reality that this large a number of children entails? Then again: I've never been someone to base a decision this emotional and significant on budgetary deliberations.
In the end I hope that we will be able to make this very important decision of when we'll have another baby, then another and another (?) on the basis of how we feel rather than on how we think what is right. How about you? If you have multiple children, how did you decide when and if the time had come for another child? How did you know when to stop? And if you have 'only' one child - is it enough for you? How many babys do you plan on having?

11/52

"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2015."

Even though we're already 11 weeks into the year I'm joining in on Jody's 52 project which I'm very excited about. 

Samuel has been waking up from his naps in a rather bad mood lately. One time this week however I came into the room and he was beaming with joy, still all wrapped up in blankets - ah, motherhood, you are the best.

The What-You-Really-Need-In-A-Hospital-Bag-List

We didn't pack a hospital bag, so this is a picture of Samuel's suitcase. You get the gist though, don't you?

If you've read Samuel's birth story you know that we never had the time to pack a proper hospital bag. What we threw together last minute was half-sufficient and half redundant. So, I thought it might be helpful to note down which items where acctually neccessary and which completely useless. The contents of a hospital bag and the significance of specific objects definitely depend on the kind of birth you have and the amount of time you spent at the hospital/ birthing center after your baby has arrived. Many of the things I list can be found at any hospital but I have to admit that it gave me a great deal of comfort to have my own towel and bathrobe. I imagine that feeling would have been even stronger if I wouldn't have been allowed to leave immediately after Samuel's arrival. Even if you decide to have a home birth you'll need some essentials readily available and it's also smart to have an emergency hospital bag just in case the labour doesn't progress the way you had thought it would (even though I root for you this eventuality won't become a reality!).
I'd love to hear your ideas, aswell! What where the things you found most essential? Did I mention something that is completely irrevelant in your opinion?

For you:
- at least 2 big, black, comfortable granny panties (something along the lines of this)
- One or two pairs of warm and long wooly socks (it can get cold in a hospital, even in summer) or slippers to walk around
- either one of your husband's t-shirts or a comfy night gown
- a headband and, if you have long hair like me, a hair tie
- a bathrobe (how gorgeous is this one by ace&jig?)
- a towel, you might want to shower if you have the chance or are you having a water birth? (I love these ones by fog linen!)
- maxi pads, lots of them
- a tank top/ longsleeve that you can pull down to breast feed. Make sure it's rather loose fitting, you won't feel like having something tight wrapped around your body, believe me.
- two feeding bras and breast pads
- phone charger (I know, weird, but you might stay a bit longer)
- a granola bar
- if you have to stay in the hospital for a few days you might like to take your own pillow
- a complete outfit for when you leave. I recommend leggins, a loose fitting shirt (see above) and a cardigan
- a mixed CD
- glasses, if you need them
- health insurance ID if you have something like that in your country

For the man in your life (don't forget about him!):
- a camera + charged battery, for obvious reasons
- snacks and water
- a t-shirt to change. Seriously, he might get wet.. enough said.
- money to get a coffee or tea
- a book. He might want to distract himself or you might like to be read to while waiting.

For the baby:
- two or three outfits incl. pants/leggins, onesie, a shirt (I recommend you take a onesie + shirt in kimono style), soft cotton or wool hat and socks (I love this set by Mabo and this hat by Otto Finn)
- burb cloths (these are technically swaddles but I believe in things that have more than one purpose)
- baby blanket (maybe one that smells like you? I wore Samuels as a scarf for a while) (Again, Otto Finn has the answer for summer babys. I also adore this one by macarons fashion)
- car seat (I kid you not, my boyfriend had to go home after Samuel was born to get ours, we were so unprepared!)
- diapers! Every hospital has diapers for you to use but maybe you'd prefer to bring your own.

A Sunday Stroll in Spring + Thoughts on Letting Kids Explore

Yesterday it felt like spring had arrived for the first time this year. Not only that it was warm but it seemed like the earth took a deep breath as everything immersed in sunlight. For me, it's really the light that is missing during winter, the cold I can deal with. Samuels aunt was visting for the weekend and to celebrate we took a long walk. No matter where we went, people where taking in the first signs of spring, the light, the air and enjoying themselves coat-less to feel the sun's warmth on their skin. We felt so close to paradise! Isn't it nice how small things like this can change everything and lift your mood immediately?
Samuel however was seriously confused at the sight of seas of crocuses and snowdrops. Poor baby, winter has been going on way to long!

 

 While we were strolling along tree-lined paths in the park, Samuel was taking in the scene in his own way. Whenever we stopped for a while he would crawl around, pull himself up wherever possible and pick up stones, flowers and twigs. When we reached a flight of stairs he continued to explore and cautiously and slowly climped the steps one by one until he reached the top. I would look around sometimes and realized that Samuel was the only child (his age) who was not permanently sitting in his stroller but would crawl around freely as he liked. This is certainly not news to me. Wherever we go, may it be playgroup, when we travel on a train or sit in a café we generally don't mind letting Samuel go so he can move around and, yes, put pretty much everything in his mouth. In my mind it's his way of learning and trying out his own limits and preferences. I like to think that by letting him 'run' wild and free he'll always come back for comfort. Additionally, I prefer not to restrict his curiosity because I fear if I do it to often he'll lose his wonderful, exploratory mind. At the same time I'm aware that many people might have safety concerns or, and I've been told that many times, are even genuinely scared for Samuel's or their own baby's health. I don't think anybody has to worry, though - I'm always there, ready to catch him when he needs me to.

 Samuel is wearing beautiful Overall Orel Crash by macarons fashion, a stripy onesie by Joha, a star hat by Noe+Zoé and our favourite urban mocassins by Amy+Ivor